...Acquire Gold

In 1793, Joseph Ducreux — once First Painter to Queen Marie Antoinette — broke every rule of respectable portraiture and painted himself grinning, leaning out of frame, and pointing squarely at the viewer. The joke aged well twice over. That same year, France's revolutionary paper assignats were inflating into worthlessness while gold quietly held, making the mockery on his face the soundest financial commentary that year. Two centuries later, the internet resurrected the portrait as the meme face of "archaic rap," issuing decrees like disregard females, acquire currency. We've taken the liberty of correcting the ledger to disregard paper currency instead. The original painting hangs in the Louvre, this one hangs onto its value. Struck at 250mg as a 24-karat gold Aurum.